Its Been A While
Things have been just crazy round here. Research, lectures, recitals, seems like the minute I get home, its time to go again. Learning a lot as usual, just not a lot of time for reflection. The Amnesty group is shaping up nicely. We're up to 8 members in the core group, which is 3 more than the usual 5 found throughout the country. And whats even better, they are all highly motivated and actually want to do stuff, not just participate. I think the group is going to take off big time over the next few weeks.
My honors project is coming along nicely, I should be finally completely finished with the coding this week. I'll spend the next two to three weeks writing, then my committee will review the paper, and then I make last minute changes just in time for the end of the semester. A close finish, but it will be a finish. My classes are all going well. Learning lots of cool stuff about the brain, math, and flash programming. Doing a little work on the side for one of the Psychology professors; nothing too fancy but money is money at this point. I also may have a job lined up for this summer through next summer as the project head of research for a project on campus. It deals with human recognition of computer rendered faces, such as that used in police investigations. Thats about all I know so far, but it sounds very interesting.
So I guess I should get to what you all are dying to hear. I believe I'm going to spend one more year at UNCW. After long consideration, talking with multiple professors, and all my friends and relatives, I'm sure of two things; one, they all think I'm crazy, and two, I think I'm doing the right thing. Throughout our lives, we have to make decisions between what we want to do, and what we need to do. Usually we have to decide whether to waiver on what we believe we should do, to make sure our lives are sustainable. While I believe in pragmatism, I also am an obvious idealist. I believe that I can work to change the path this world is currently headed down, and I believe that it is not a choice that I'm worthy of making. It is a duty, to my fellow humans, to do what I can to set things right. Why is it my duty, why me? I have a lot to learn about everything, and I need a lot of work on my levels of tolerance and the like; but I am also very experienced in these areas, experience which gives me opportunities.
Some people are just too closed minded to walk a progressive path, and some are just too open minded. Through my life experiences, and learning from many wonderful people, I have come to a level of existence where I feel I can see problems from an objective point of view. While their may be no true objective point of view, I am fairly good at understanding may other peoples viewpoints. I am striving to improve this ability every day. I think what makes myself and people like me somewhat unique is purely our life experiences. I have been on all sides of the fence; the popular easy to follow side, the unpopular tough path, and on the fence itself, not sure of what to do. Given these experiences, I feel that I can see most sides to a conflict, which allows me to formulate solutions that are agreeable to all. If you really try hard, you can see what it is that motivates people. Once you know there motivations, you can work with them, instead of against them.
There is not such thing as inherent evil, all evil comes from a lack of understanding and respect. Hitler for example, was one of the most "evil" people of our times. But why was he "evil"? His main flaw, was a lack of respect for human rights. In particular, he could not see the true equality of all humans. If Hitler had understood that we are all truly equal, the holocaust would not have happened. Why did he not see it? Because of years of persecution, which led to an immense hatred. Hatred, and blinding vengeful anger, those were Hitlers weaknesses. If we can prevent such hatred from arising in individuals, then we can prevent the loss of respect for human life.
What is my point? My point is that I believe I have the ability to do what I've said needs to be done. I believe that I MUST do what I can, because I owe it to my fellow man. I don't know if there is some ultimate meaning, and I don't know if I'm just wasting my time; what I do know is that I have an ability to stop the horrific things occurring around me, and I feel compelled to do so.
All my life I have tried to help people, and find a way for us all to live together in a happy and peaceful co-existence. Some think I'm an idealistic dreamer, but then I have to reply that so are all my heroes. Undoubtedly Gandhi made some mistakes; but he got an entire nation to stand up and be heard. He got people to realize that we must be active, and we must avoid complacency at all cost. Often when I say that to people they laugh and say, "so you are going to be Gandhi?" My reply to you all "WHY NOT?" One doesn't aspire to be Gandhi, Jesus, or anyone else. One simply does what he or she can to make things right. The rest, as they say, is history. Gandhi didn't set out to be Gandhi, he set out to make people see the madness in what they were doing, and to stop it. And best of all, he sought to do that through education, not force. He always said that we will all receive many blows, but we must not strike back. We will make them see that what they are doing is wrong, and then THEY will decide to stop. Does non-violence always work? I don't know. But I do believe that in the end, compassion always wins out. Anger naturally dies off, but compassion naturally grows. Over time, compassion will always win out.
And so it is with me. My compassion for the human race, and for that matter every living creature, has surpassed my worries of poverty and pain for myself. You all worry that I will suffer, be it by financial poverty or another way. I say to you, do I not already suffer? Am I not already torn apart emotionally on a daily basis by what I see around me? You think I walk toward suffering, but in fact I'm walking away. My suffering comes from apathy, and inactivity. My suffering comes from the ability to do something, and yet I find myself setting still. My suffering comes from a wasted life, and now my suffering is over. I may suffer on the physical plane, but for the first time in my life, I do not suffer on the mental plane. Deep within myself, I know that I am in the pursuit of what is right; and there is no other path for me. I have found the path I'm mean to walk on, and now I take the first step...
My honors project is coming along nicely, I should be finally completely finished with the coding this week. I'll spend the next two to three weeks writing, then my committee will review the paper, and then I make last minute changes just in time for the end of the semester. A close finish, but it will be a finish. My classes are all going well. Learning lots of cool stuff about the brain, math, and flash programming. Doing a little work on the side for one of the Psychology professors; nothing too fancy but money is money at this point. I also may have a job lined up for this summer through next summer as the project head of research for a project on campus. It deals with human recognition of computer rendered faces, such as that used in police investigations. Thats about all I know so far, but it sounds very interesting.
So I guess I should get to what you all are dying to hear. I believe I'm going to spend one more year at UNCW. After long consideration, talking with multiple professors, and all my friends and relatives, I'm sure of two things; one, they all think I'm crazy, and two, I think I'm doing the right thing. Throughout our lives, we have to make decisions between what we want to do, and what we need to do. Usually we have to decide whether to waiver on what we believe we should do, to make sure our lives are sustainable. While I believe in pragmatism, I also am an obvious idealist. I believe that I can work to change the path this world is currently headed down, and I believe that it is not a choice that I'm worthy of making. It is a duty, to my fellow humans, to do what I can to set things right. Why is it my duty, why me? I have a lot to learn about everything, and I need a lot of work on my levels of tolerance and the like; but I am also very experienced in these areas, experience which gives me opportunities.
Some people are just too closed minded to walk a progressive path, and some are just too open minded. Through my life experiences, and learning from many wonderful people, I have come to a level of existence where I feel I can see problems from an objective point of view. While their may be no true objective point of view, I am fairly good at understanding may other peoples viewpoints. I am striving to improve this ability every day. I think what makes myself and people like me somewhat unique is purely our life experiences. I have been on all sides of the fence; the popular easy to follow side, the unpopular tough path, and on the fence itself, not sure of what to do. Given these experiences, I feel that I can see most sides to a conflict, which allows me to formulate solutions that are agreeable to all. If you really try hard, you can see what it is that motivates people. Once you know there motivations, you can work with them, instead of against them.
There is not such thing as inherent evil, all evil comes from a lack of understanding and respect. Hitler for example, was one of the most "evil" people of our times. But why was he "evil"? His main flaw, was a lack of respect for human rights. In particular, he could not see the true equality of all humans. If Hitler had understood that we are all truly equal, the holocaust would not have happened. Why did he not see it? Because of years of persecution, which led to an immense hatred. Hatred, and blinding vengeful anger, those were Hitlers weaknesses. If we can prevent such hatred from arising in individuals, then we can prevent the loss of respect for human life.
What is my point? My point is that I believe I have the ability to do what I've said needs to be done. I believe that I MUST do what I can, because I owe it to my fellow man. I don't know if there is some ultimate meaning, and I don't know if I'm just wasting my time; what I do know is that I have an ability to stop the horrific things occurring around me, and I feel compelled to do so.
All my life I have tried to help people, and find a way for us all to live together in a happy and peaceful co-existence. Some think I'm an idealistic dreamer, but then I have to reply that so are all my heroes. Undoubtedly Gandhi made some mistakes; but he got an entire nation to stand up and be heard. He got people to realize that we must be active, and we must avoid complacency at all cost. Often when I say that to people they laugh and say, "so you are going to be Gandhi?" My reply to you all "WHY NOT?" One doesn't aspire to be Gandhi, Jesus, or anyone else. One simply does what he or she can to make things right. The rest, as they say, is history. Gandhi didn't set out to be Gandhi, he set out to make people see the madness in what they were doing, and to stop it. And best of all, he sought to do that through education, not force. He always said that we will all receive many blows, but we must not strike back. We will make them see that what they are doing is wrong, and then THEY will decide to stop. Does non-violence always work? I don't know. But I do believe that in the end, compassion always wins out. Anger naturally dies off, but compassion naturally grows. Over time, compassion will always win out.
And so it is with me. My compassion for the human race, and for that matter every living creature, has surpassed my worries of poverty and pain for myself. You all worry that I will suffer, be it by financial poverty or another way. I say to you, do I not already suffer? Am I not already torn apart emotionally on a daily basis by what I see around me? You think I walk toward suffering, but in fact I'm walking away. My suffering comes from apathy, and inactivity. My suffering comes from the ability to do something, and yet I find myself setting still. My suffering comes from a wasted life, and now my suffering is over. I may suffer on the physical plane, but for the first time in my life, I do not suffer on the mental plane. Deep within myself, I know that I am in the pursuit of what is right; and there is no other path for me. I have found the path I'm mean to walk on, and now I take the first step...
posted by Sean at
4:53 PM
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