Another Crazy Experiment

Well, I survived my hunger strike. Not that I'm suprised, one day is really not that tough. Of course, I did get severe food poisoning when I finally did eat, and spent all of Sunday throwing up and in bed. But, it was worth it. Most of the people I sent my email to signed the petition, so my goal was accomplished. In addition I came just a little closer to understanding what it is like to be in one of the places I'm trying to help. When the hunger pains were at their worst, I would think of how I could simply go to the fridge and eat something. But the people that are in places like Sudan, they have no choice. When the hunger pains come for them, they have to just suffer. My experience was taken even farther by the food poisoning incident. While I was miserable, at least it was in an air conditioned apartment, with love and support from others. (In particular my amazing girlfriend, Evie who took excellent care of me). I was able to lay on my comfortable bed, take anti-nausea medicine, and minimize my suffering. And once I was feeling a little better, I could munch on ice chips, and then worked my way up to popcicles. Meanwhile, my counterparts in Darfur will likely die from dehydration. I don't know that you will ever understand where I am coming from, or why I feel the way that I do, but when you experience something like that it changes you. Sometimes things happen to you and you just realize what you need to do. And regardless of what anyone else thinks, you have to do it.

Thank you all for your encouragement, advise, and words of wisdom. While you may think this was an excercise in futility, you do not understand the effect it has had on me. While I was happy to be part of a movement involving over 2000 people, I am even more happy with the personal growth I have experienced. I had lost a little steam, through a lack of support; but now my motivation is renewed and I know that I must continue to push myself. What I have done is not great, anyone could do it. But I did it, thats what matters. Its easy to say, "anyone could do that", its tough to actually do it. Maybe some of my forays into philanthropy will end in failure, and maybe I will feel that I made a mistake sometimes; but only through attempting to do something will it ever be possible to make a difference. And that is not a difference for me or my ego, it is a difference for the human race. I am just a cog in the machine, playing my little role. Maybe there is no meaning, and I'm just fooling myself. But currently, I feel this is what I must do, so I do it. Tomorrow things may change, but right this second, I do what I think I should. I hope you can all say that as well. Be true to your selves, and worry not what others think. I listen to you all, but in the end I have to do what I think is right. I hope you can understand that, even if you don't understand me.

May your hearts by filled with compassion for all...