Viva la Revolucion!

Thats right, the fat man just finished an astounding 10.01 miles on the ole eliptical rider. Bow down and worship me now! Just kidding. But seriously, I have a renewed sense of control over my body and my destiny. Knowing that where I am headed is dictated within some bounds by the universe at the very least(and often by other sources), I still have the ability to control where I fall within those bounds. Be it the overwhelming sense of accomplishment at my first major physical feat in a while, or two hours of reading Ernesto "Che" Guevara's biography "A Revolutionary Life", I have a new emboldened outlook which I plan to take advantage of immediatly. In my never ending battle with laziness, diet, exercise, and philosophy, I have decided to write a manifesto. I'm a quickly learning that all great things start with a great plan. I now have the life experience to understand just how important it is to make that plan concrete, even if you will not always be able to stick to it. In this mindset, I have decided to write a manifesto for the next 1 month of my life. I will dictate diet, exercise, philanthropic pursuits, academic pursuits, and stress relief activities.

On a side note, things are getting rolling with my attempt to start an Amnesty International (AI) student group. I've made contact with several key people at UNCW and AI, and I am currently searching for a core group of members as well as a faculty advisory board. It is my hope that with my 2 years of experience as president of the UNCW ACM, as well as one year on student government, that I will be successful in building a self-sustaining group before departing UNCW.

I have also now written 4 letters to foreign governments on behalf of various political prisonsers. I would like to do more, but I refuse to take any action until I fully understand the circumstances surrounding an individuals case. Amnesty does a great job of providing background info as well as links to external news sources so that you can fully understand the situation before taking action. Unfortunatly it takes time to do all the reading, so I can only respond to so many calls to action. That is one thing I hope to change with the UNCW group. We can have individuals responsible for reading up on the different campaigns currently taking place within Amnesty, and report back to the group. That way, we can all make informed decisions about a course of action.

All in all, I think this semester is going to be a major turning point in my life. In fact, it already has. But I feel that the changes are just beginning.

If you want to keep up to date on the UNCW groups progress, I have set up a temporary website at http://www.seanwatson.com/aiuncw/ Progress will not be apparent at first as I am currently rallying up members and paperwork. But once things get rolling, I will make continual updates. Stay tuned!

Peace and Compassion

The word of the day is...Perseverance

I think I spelled that right. Anyway, time for an update. First, I would like to commment on my postings. Several of you have commented over the past week or so that you were suprised by one of my entries, and even more suprised by the removal of it. Let me start by saying that this site was created for me to throw my thoughts at in an attempt to log them for future reflection. Having said that, I'm also aware that many of you now read it regularly. Given that, I will no longer post highly aggressive comments unless they are created in a calm and collected state. I have created a seperate place for storing my emotionally charged rhetoric, that only I have access too. This way I don't duplicate effort, and you don't have to endure my sometimes overwhelming emotion.

Moving on, things are going well. I'm just about done with my research and ready to write my thesis. I had a productive meeting with my advisor today and he agrees. I should have a very rough draft up for reading on my website in the next week or two. I will post a link to it here when that happens.

The job hunt is going slow, but I may be able to get a research position here at the university. That would be excellent because it would give me PAID research experience while I'm waiting to go to grad school. Speaking of which, NYU and Univ. of Colorado at Boulder are now my top two choices. I'm actually leaning towards NYU now because of the culture there. The access to intellectual stimuluation is almost too much to pass up. Alternatively, Randy O'reilly at UC Boulder is my twin with respect to interests. It will be a tough choice, but before I worry about making it, I'll see who accepts me. Other choices vary, but a more complete list will appear this fall when I'm applying.

Evie and I are having a great time attending lots of lectures and seeing movies. Working out 6 days a week still, diet is going ok, could be better. I think I'm going to have to go through another strict phase though. Currently contemplating the methodology for it. I'm thinking along the lines of a Rohatsu like statement of rules to be followed for one month. I need to get on a strict regiment for a little bit. The lack of structure and complete focus on research has me going nuts.

Another BIG development is my decision to start an Amnesty International(AI) student group at UNCW. It is going to be tough with me leaving in a few months, but I've laid out a plan to get a group going and keep it moving forward without me. My hope is that I will be able to leave the area having successfully go it on its feet. I've already corresponded with AI and have materials on the way. I'm currently looking for students and one or multiple faculty advisors. I have lots of great ideas, and unlike my stint as ACM President, I think it will be a fully functional group. The ACM had too much room for varied interests, AI is much more focused. Therefore interested parties will be more in line with my ideas for where the group should go, and what it should accomplish. More on that as it happens.

Hope you are all doing well.

Peace

Loosing Steam

Well, its one of those days. The kind where you have a thousand things to do, and none of them intrest you. I've got so much to do I'm ready to go nuts, and yet, I can't bring myself to do any of it. I guess its an endorphin low cause I ate a bunch of crap last night, and didn't get to work out today. I was reading my previous post and wondering how I can feel this way when at other times I have so much passion. Thyroid, brain, some other malfunctioning organ? Maybe. Or maybe I'm just to busy doing a lot of pointless crap to get to my end goal, and I don't have enough meaning in my life. If I were a professor, I'd be set. I would have spare time for philanthropic pursuits, I would convey knowledge and influence students daily, and I wouldn't have to worry about money. Right now I'm in quite the opposite situation. I've got 4-7 years to go before being a prof, and I'm running out of steam. I know the ultimate goal is worth it, I just forget some times. I need more short term things that I can get a feeling of accomplishment from. All these long term goals and no short term are the problem I think. I'm just SOOOOO busy, I don't know how to do it. I've got all these long term goals that are about complete, and they HAVE to be completed soon. So I can't start anything else.

Oh well. Don't even have any good writing in me today, just whining. Guess I'll get back to research and push on through. Hopefully after tomorrows workout I'll be re-energized.

Peace and Love

When the Man Comes Around

So what do we do? Answers? Anyone? The more I learn, the less I know about where to direct my action. I think, I learn, and I talk to others. The more I learn, the closer I get to making the difference that I so desperately want to make. For me, NO. For humanity. Does it make me feel good, yes. Does it make me happy to make a difference even if its not a real difference, yes. But what do I really want? I want true equality. I want true elimination of suffering for us all. I want those who know nothing but suffering to have chance to make it. I want those with more millions than they know what to do with, to realize the value of human life. Why am I so crazy and so out on a limb for feeling this way? Why don't we all value life the way I do? We do, we just forget it, or we never understand it. So my goal, make the masses understand it. I guess I really do think the many outway the one, but I'm not sure. I definetly am ready to give my life for the mass, but why I'm not sure. Maybe its pure rebellion against my genes, maybe I just want to do whatever goes against them. But maybe I'm glimpsing the true meaning of it all on occasion. Maybe the rare occasion when I think I know what is right, I'm correct. Maybe I need to quit listening so much to those mindless masses around me. I see the path, and I'm just to chicken shit to walk it. God forbid I be uncomfortable. What I really need to do is make a sacrifice. My pleasure, to releave someone elses pain. That is where I want to be. That, is what I want to do. Its about making those who value the green, value the peach. Those who value the solid coin, value the soft flesh. Value the humanity that surrounds them. Somewhere in that capitalist empire called the US lies the true heart of America. And that is where my salvation lies. I just have to find the path that will lead me to the understanding required to make the difference I am here to make. Does my life have meaning, I don't know. Such questions are for philosophers and theoligans, what matters to me is real. What can I do here, and now. I know I'm on the right path, but the constant questioning of all that surrounds me, that is what I must continue. This new world which I have glimpsed is where I must live. I must find a way to be here at all times, in all situations. The path continues...

Earthly Stuff

I guess my past few writings have been a little off in space. I guess its about time for a good ole down to earth update. Classes are going well for the most part. I've dove in head first to Physiological Psychology which is about the only neuroscience type course I have had or will have as an undergrad. The professor is awesome, and I got a book he recommended reading before grad school that has been exetremely useful. Example, our book for the class only has 3 pages listed in the index for info about the Basal Ganglia, the new book he recommended has an entire chapter on it! Obviously a little better. Its not that he picked a bad book, the book we have is great. Its just that at the undergrad level you don't usually get as in depth about things. But since I'm taking the class purely to prepare for grad school, I figured I should go the extra distance.

Health is going good to. I've hit a little bit of a plateau in weight loss, but I'm determined to beat it. I've moved up to working out 6 days a week. MWF and Saturday I run 5 miles on the eliptical rider, and on Tuesday and Thurs I do 2 and a half. I added the tues and thurs to help with the plateau, and to help with my energy levels. I seem to do better on days I work out, so I thought maybe I should work out every day. So far its working pretty well. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, but being at school 7am-6pm 5 days a week will do that to anyone.

Research is coming along also. I'm finally getting close to some results worth viewing. I also started writing my thesis. I think it should end up being pretty good. At the very least I've learned A LOT for grad school. And I'm happy to say that I finally feel ready. As some of you know, about a year ago I was ready academically, but I just didn't feel ready. I'm beyond that now. I feel totally prepared, now I just have to get past the GREs.

Things are going well with Evie also. We're hanging out with her parents a lot more now, and I love them. The other night we all went out for sushi and I asked her dad if I could try some of his Saki. I've always wanted to try it, but never had the chance. For those who don't know, Saki is a Japanese form of wine made from rice. The big difference is that unlike typical wine with ~7% alcohol, Saki has ~15% by content. By the end of the night we had finished four bottles, and I was feeling pretty good! We were supposed to all go to a jazz concert with a blind pianist, but it was cancelled due to bad weather where the band was coming from. So Evie and I went to Barnes and Noble instead, and in my drunken state we had a two hour discussion on everything under the sun. It was very philosophical, and enlightening. Honestly, I don't know how she put up with me! :)

I guess thats enough for now. I'll try to start writing more regularly about life events in addition to my occasional crazy philosphical entries. By for now.