Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Hard to believe its only 6 days away! i usually go home a long time before Christmas, so this year it kind of snuck up on me. Don't have a single present yet!!! Have ideas for all of them, just have to make them. i always do my shopping and gift making in WV. Things are going well, i'm still working out and working. Reading a lot lately, and the Buddhism kick i have been on has turned into more of a full blown philosophical journey. i thought i was just having a little phase of interest, but i'm starting to think its more than that. i'm still reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh, and i just started reading Zen in the Art of Archery. i've read half of the Archery book and it is amazing. It is by a man who wanted to know Zen. He was told that a good first step is learning one of the many arts associated with it such as flower arranging, archery, etc... He spent six years studying archery, and the book chronicles these years. It is short, but very profound. You should check it out.

Got a couple other books and a DVD documentary that is 2 hours and follows a young buddhist monk on his path to priesthood. Sounds pretty good, and since it was made in 65 and redone in the 80s and 2003, there must be something to it. i'll let you know how it is.

The Anger book by Thich Nhat Hanh is great. Very down to earth and still profound. Written so that one of any religion can follow it, it is an excellent resource. One result of reading so far is that i've decided not to consume alcohol anymore, and i am also going to be very mindful of my food consumption. i have always drank for fun and only on a rare occasion, which is obviously not essential. Hanh makes a good point in his book that one of the contributing factors to starvation around the world is overconsumption of grains and vegetables. Obviously this is due in part to the production of alcohol which is made from grains and vegetables. In addition, i plan to consume less food, not just because it is good for my health, but also to help the problem of world food shortage. It seems like a far stretch at first, but if you think about it, it makes complete sense. Supply and demand sets the price for food, that is true anywhere in the world. The more food the US consumes, the more it drives the price up all over the world and locally. The higher the prices, the harder it is for impoverished to buy, and the harder it is for philanthropic groups to buy. Therefore, we each do our part to contribute to starvation by consuming more food than we need to sustain life, and by consuming alcohol in large quantities which is completely unnecessary. If all the grain for all the beer consumed today were given to starving third world countries, think what a difference that would make?!?

i am certainly not judging anyone who chooses to consume alcohol, we all have our reasons. i am just making a choice for myself, as i do not require alcohol to function. And of course, consuming less food can only help me loose weight. It is a well known problem in the US that we eat significatly more than we require to survive and thrive. Many of use consume more than a body builder would need to maintain their huge muscle mass. So its bad for our health, and bad for the world. So the next time someone asks you if you want to super size that, think about it for a minute. Do you really need that many potatoes?

That reminds me of one more thing. You all must see the movie/documentary Supersize Me. It is the documentary of a man who lives on nothing but Mcdonalds food for 30 days. Inspiring, enlightening, and scary. Check it out.

Ok, enough rambling for today. Leaving for WV in a couple days, hopefully i'll have some beautiful pictures of nature to share. Stay tuned!

Catch up time

Well, I finished out Rohatsu without too much trouble. I didn't accomplish everything I wanted too, but I did pretty good. I wasn't too naughty on the 8th with my celebrating; guess I felt a little guilty because Rohatsu was so easy. It's really difficult to do something like that with the current societal roles I have. I think I'm going to try again in a few weeks for just a weekend. While Rohatsu only comes once a year, sesshins are held multiple times throughout the year. Rohatsu is the sesshin to end all sesshins, but they are all the same thing. Focus and train really hard for some period of time. I think I'm going to do a few weekend sesshins the first six months of the year, and then a 5 day one at the end of the summer. Finally, I will observe Rohatsu again next year.

In other news, this past weekend was Evie's birthday. We took a trip to Ocean Isle Beach and spent the night there. It was a nice little getaway vacation for a day. We saw some cool sights (see pics below). Also, I got her an Opera Torte from Starbucks, which is perfect because she loves music(plays the flute for those of you who don't know). And finally, I made her a piece of art which was very difficult and time consuming. The end result looks like it would be easy to make, but trust me, it wasn't. I had fun though, it was a good exercise in mindfulness. So check out all the pics below and I'll talk to you all later. Don't forget to click on the pictures to see the larger versions. Some of the pictures, especially the ones of the sunset, look much better in the larger version.

I caught a big one at the Giggling Mackerel pier and resteraunt. Shes gotta be some kinda record!

The beautiful people without the sunset.

The beautiful sunset without the people.

Evie enjoying her birthday, and the view.

Yet another beautiful picture. Even if its freezing, it is still beautiful. Can you believe I took this picture while standing on our balcony! Did I mention our room was only $56! During peak of on season its $130!!

Just another beautiful picture(plus or minus a dumpster).

The other side of the bridge, leading down on to Ocean Isle Beach.

Heres a cool pic. Kind of ominous looking clouds but thats just because the camera was freaking out b/c it was taking a picture of the sun. If it wasn't for LCD view finders, I think Evie would be blind now!

Close up of the houses.

Ocean Isle Beach, summer homes as far as the eye can see.

The sky was unbelievable. Notice the rays of sun shining down in the background.

Evie on the highway to heaven, or rather, the Intercoastal waterway bridge. We thought it was cool that it looked like it goes off into the sky.

Here are the pics of the evolution of Evie's present. I started out with an 8 x 10 inch mirror with a 1 inch bevel around the sides. I also used an X-acto knife to cut out a stencil of the Kanji characters to be painted on later. I didn't photograph this part because it was a long and arduous task which required continuous and complete concentration. I didn't want to interrupt the flow by taking pictures.

Next I drew a line on the bevel edge for reference using a dry erase marker. I tried to put the tape down previously just eyeballing it, but it was not coming out right. Then I got the idea to use some reference lines. It made things go a lot smoother.

Next I taped down some paper to protect the middle from getting frosting on it. This part was tough, but the lines made it easier to do.

And then the other direction...

Next i trimmed all the tape using the X-acto knife so it was ready for the frosting.

Then I sprayed on the frosting.

The final product: The Kanji characters, according to my translation software, mean kindergarten teacher. Also notice the frosted edge. I made it using some really cool new spray paint that makes glass appear to be frosted. I think it turned out pretty well! The toughest part was painting the black Kanji character. I had a stencil, but once I got it taped down and ready to paint, the inner parts were not flush with the mirror. I had to use numerous parts to hold the various flaps of the stencil down. In the end, some paint still sprayed where it didn't belong, but overall everything worked out. What do you think?

Another view of the final product.

Day Five

Its funny how much psychology plays a part in what we do. Its even scary how far we let it push us sometimes. I was working out tonight, and the girl I was beside is either sick, or sick. Mean, either she has some disease causing her to waste away, or she has Anorexia. I'm leaning toward the second, but I don't know for sure. She was quite possibly the most emaciated person I've ever seen in person. It was enough that I thought I should talk to her, but I didn't know what to say. My psychology training kicked in and I hypothesized possible treatment styles, but then I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do. Treatment takes weeks to months, I had an hour at most. Sometimes you are completely powerless, and there is nothing you can do to change that.

Sometimes I forget to stop and watch the people around me, there is just so much to learn. TV and movies are great, but nothing has an impact like real life. Just sitting in a restraunt and watching a happy couple, or even more informative is an unhappy couple (at the time anyway). Taking an outside seat to the situations we all end up in is very informative. You just want to get up and go over and say, "Hey, you two love each other, did you forget that?" Of course, there is the rare occasion when that is not true, but most of the time people just had a little tiff. Hormones and neurotransmitters are good at locking us in attack mode and making us forget that we are just attacking ourselves when we tear apart the one we love.

I started reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance tonight while I was working out. I've read two chapters so far, and I can already tell its going to be a great book. Its a very simple set of observations, but at the same time very insightful. I'm already wondering if the writer practiced formal zen training, or is just a lay subject like myself. In either case, he definetly posses a rare gift of insight.

I also started reading True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh which is a simple and yet amazing book. Contrary to popular belief, the buddhist's know a lot about love in all its forms. I also grabbed a book called Anger by him. I flipped through it and based on previous writings by him I read, I decided to buy it. Funny how buddhist books are always so cheap, and yet they are usually the most informative?!

Obviously from above you can tell I worked out. Getting back to my regular run quickly. I went 5.06 today(5.23 being the farthest I've ever run). The diet is going well also. Got some research done and some interesting results. The only bad thing was I slept till 11, but I've been sick, so I thought I better. I feel a lot better now, and I wasn't run down for my workout. So I think I made the right decision. You know, I just realized I'm capitalizing all my I and I'ms. I don't think I'm going to do that anymore. Kinda defeats the whole outlook. If i'm not unique or special, why do i capitalize pronouns referring to my ego? Seems like a small point, but i've started to realize that all those small things are what make us who we are. I guess thats what being "awake" is all about.

Well, enough ranting for tonight. Talk to you all tomorrow.

PS And no, i didn't capitalize that last "i" because i'm unique, it was the first word in the sentence! :)

Days 3 and 4

Three and Four were a blur. Workouts went well, got up every morning, but things have been tough. I was naughty and had a Grande White Chocolate Mocha(nectar of the gods) and I got sick(which is how I justified getting the coffee!). I get so weak when I'm sick its not even funny. Still, in total I've lost wait, so it wasn't that big of a deal. I think I might actually reach my goal of 219 by 12 Tuesday night. We'll see. Things have been good in general. Took my Psy 245 Drugs and Behavior final yesterday. It was one of the first tests I ever took where I just knew everything. There were 90 questions, but it took me no time at all. I just loved that class so much, it was easy. I would talk about what we learned in the lab after class everyday. Its just facinating how drugs work and what they do.

Sorry I can't be more detailed, but things have been a little blurry. Will do better today and 6&7. Talk to you tonight.

Day Two...

Still here. I'm actually extremely upbeat and full of energy, must be working out and because everything is going good right now. Give it a few days, then the tiredness will kick in. Plus, tomorrow I have to start studying for finals. So all the really cool work I'm doing on research right now goes on hold until December the 8th at least. Testing is such a waste of time. Oh well, guess I have to do it. Moving on, my workout had to be sacrificed today for the greater good. I was so busy talking to Dr. Tag about research that I talked right through my workout time. I think continuing were I was rather than sticking to my predefined dogma was the way to go. If not, oh well, too late now. At least from a health point of view, 6 out of 7 days working out ain't bad!

I forgot to mention, I applied for another job yesterday. I found a job at UNCW making ~48,000/year with benefits. It is only guaranteed through May 06, which is perfect for me, because thats about the time I should be moving to Boulder for grad school. By the way, if you wanna check out where I'm going(or will be once they accept me :)) the website is http://www.colorado.edu and the professor I want to work with is in the Psych Dept and his name is Randy O'reilly. Which was easy to get the address for, because as part of my super focus to go there, I've set his homepage as the default page my browser goes to when I open it up. Yeah, I know, psycho. But if thats what it takes, oh well.

I also had a VERY stimulating conversation today with one of my friends at school about everything from cars reproducing to the duality of the universe, or lack thereof. It's nice to find someone from your home planet every now and then! Its also nice to take a step back an be philosophical. I keep losing the forest for the trees, its hard to keep that broad view. Getting better though.

Diet and health are doing good. I'm back to my lowest weight and losing. I was 233 yesterday morning, which is 1 pound more than my lowest of 232(not counting birth of course!). I'm planning to break 229 by the 7th, and 219 by New Years. Kinda doing the New Years resolution in reverse this year I guess?!? At the rate I'm going I think its reasonable to be at 190 by March or April, which I'm guessing is my ideal weight. Who knows. Since I actually have some muscle, that BMI crap doesn't work for me. At any rate, I think I'll be in perfect health by the end of next semester. Go me!

Alright, enough bragging. Now to important things; we saw the Incredibles tonight and it was really good. Ripped off a few other movies like they always do, but it was still excellent. And best of all, yes, thats right, the STAR WARS EPISODE III trailer was before the movie!!! If the movie is even half as good as it looks, it should be amazing. I mean, really, how many times can Lucas mess up as great a story as Star Wars? Lets hope not 3.

Alright, enough yapping. See you all tomorrow.

May The Force Be With You

One Down, Six To Go

Well, I made it through day one without freaking out. I got up at 6 and worked out as planned. It was my first time back in the gym since I hurt my back a couple weeks ago, and it was exhausting. The first 30 min session was about the same as when I last worked out. Same intensity, same distance, etc...But by the end I was starting to feel it. The second 30 minutes was agony. I actually had to stop after 4.05 miles because I got dizzy. Think I was just worn out, I only got 5 hours of sleep last night.

The rest of the day I worked on some art stuff for Evie's present and did a bunch of research. Uneventful, but tiring. I will sleep good tonight!

No major thoughts for the day, but I did see some White Ibis feeding on one of the fields at UNCW this morning. A good omen I think... It made me feel a little more in tune with nature, which is part of what this week is all about.